Introduction
The effects of domestic violence last a lifetime. They can be physical, or more seriously, mental and emotional. The
victim is left with a scar on their life that never completely goes away. It can change a person completely and they will
never be the same. Although no one ever deserves to be abused, it happens often, sometimes more often than we think.
Abuse comes in many forms depending on who it is against, who does it, and how it is done. It breaks all ethnic, economic,
age, and gender lines. The effects of abuse range widely from the effects on individuals to the effects on the government
and economy. It is often in our everyday lives and is only a matter if we choose to accept it as our problem.
Abuse happens in every category of relationships from child maltreatment to spousal abuse. The Domestic Violence Center
has broken abuse down into five categories. The first is verbal abuse which is characterized by name calling, belittling,
using put downs, and yelling. The second is emotional abuse which includes embarrassing you in front of others monitoring
your behavior, and insulting you in ways that affect the way you feel about yourself. Then there is financial/resource abuse
which consists of taking your money, running up debts, and destroying your property. Next is physical abuse which is categorized
by slapping, hitting, punching, choking, restraining, tripping, pushing, or any other physical contact that harms you. Last
is sexual abuse which is described as rape, forcing sex with others, beating if sex is refused, and forcing distasteful sex
acts on you (General).
Violence is a learned behavior (General). Abusers are across the board when it comes to their professions, economic status,
race, size, gender, sexual orientation, and age. It could be your boss who is financially well off and always stressed from
work or the mother on welfare who worries that she can barely feed her family. Whatever the case, the abuser believes that
what they are doing is completely acceptable. They have often experienced abuse themselves in some form and feel that it is
the normal way to handle the situation. They do not understand that what they are doing is wrong and will continue to abuse
until they learn otherwise and admit they have a problem.
Learning is the first step to fixing this problem. The numbers are shocking, and it will continue to stay around unless
something is done. The more that we know, the more we can realize that this is a very serious issue affecting many people
not only in America, but across the world. This has been happening since the beginning of time and we are just starting to
take notice of it. We have made great leaps in realizing this as a real concern but have so much further to go.
Children
While no type of abuse is worse than any other, I personally believe that child maltreatment is the most serious. Unlike
spousal abuse where the two people chose to be together in the beginning, we do not choose who we are born to. These children
come into this world full of dreams and aspirations and are often stuck down before they are old enough to chase them. The
abuse happens so early they are stuck spending their entire lives with the after effects. They learn skewed ideas of relationships
that will affect them years down the road.
The Center for Disease Control characterizes child maltreatment into four types: neglect, physical abuse, sexual abuse,
and emotional abuse. “Neglect is failure to provide for a child’s basic needs. Physical abuse is physical injury
due to punching, beating kicking, biting, burning, shaking, or otherwise harming a child. Sexual abuse includes fondling a
child’s genitals, incest, penetration, rape, sodomy, indecent exposure, and commercial exploitation through prostitution
or the production of pornographic materials. Emotional abuse is any pattern of behavior that harms a child’s emotional
development or sense of self-worth (CDC).
The effects of the maltreatment are both short term and long term, both physical and mental. Children that are raised
in violent homes learn “how to keep family secrets, how to get what they want through aggression and manipulation, that
people that love you hurt you, and that violence is a part of life” (General). Children living in violence often feel
isolated and display a range of problems. These children are more likely to “exhibit behavioral and physical health
problems including depression, anxiety, and violence toward peers” and “are more likely to attempt suicide, abuse
drugs and alcohol, run away from home, and engage in teenage prostitution” (National). Their increased risks carry into
their adult lives, “children who experience maltreatment are at increased risk for adverse health effects and behaviors
as adults including smoking, alcoholism, drug abuse, eating disorders, severs obesity, depression, suicide, sexual promiscuity,
and certain chronic diseases” (CDC).
The reason that child maltreatment is such a serious issue is because these children learn this behavior and they are
often in abusive relationships, either being abused or being the abuser. “The U.S. Advisory Board on Child Abuse suggests
that domestic violence may be the single major precursor to child abuse across the country. Studies of children who witness
domestic violence show that they are more likely to perpetuate the cycle of violence in their own relationships” (National).
One study shows that “men who witness domestic violence as children are twice as likely to abuse their own partners
and children than those who did not witness domestic violence” and “ women who are abused as children are more
likely to become victims of abuse as adults” (National).
Some of these children are not even lucky enough to live with the effects: “an estimated 1,500 children were confirmed
to have died from maltreatment; 36% of these deaths were from neglect, 28% from physical abuse, and 29% from multiple maltreatment
types” (CDC). Children are dieing everyday by the hands of their parents, people that chose to bring them into this
world. These children cannot help themselves and are only hoping that someone will save them. Actions need to be taken before
it is too late for any more children.
Women
When most people think of domestic violence, they think of men abusing their wives. This is for good reason: “one
out of every four American women (26 percent) report that they have been physically abused by a husband or boyfriend at some
point in their lives” (General). This is a serious problem that needs to be dealt with. The numbers are growing, and
the problem is getting worse. “Last year, the number of women abused by their husbands was greater than the number of
women who got married” one statement confirms (Myths).
A report shows: “battering is the single largest cause of injury to women in the United States” and “about
30 percent of all women seeking treatment in hospital emergency rooms are victims of wife beating” (Myths). And it is
not always physical abuse. A study shows “between 70-85% of women who are sexually assaulted are assaulted by men they
know. Six of every ten sexual assaults take place in a private home, and four of every ten take place in a women’s home”
(Myths).
These men use violence as a tool to manipulate their spouses. A report explains “abusive men know their wives or
girlfriends are frightened of them and use violence as a method of control” (Myths). When the man becomes violent, there
is often nothing the women can do. The woman is immediately helpless and must suffer the abuse with no escape. The woman becomes
more and more trapped in the relationship with every beating and is overwhelmed with hopelessness. The woman often begins
to believe that she in some way deserves the abuse. Once the woman gets to this point, it is hard to get her out. But “no
woman, no child, no person, ever deserves to be beaten or emotionally or psychologically abused” (Myths).
Some women do find the strength to leave, but the problem does not stop there. The danger actually increases in some
situations. The men often stalk the women and the life threatening incidents increase. For some “the risk for being
killed is 75% greater than for those who stay” (General). Women in abusive relationships are stuck between staying in
the relationship and enduring the abuse to possibly one day be killed, or to leave the relationship often not knowing where
to go and fearing for their life for the rest of their lives. That is a very tough decision to make.
Men
Though the abuse we most often think of is men abusing women, the reverse is also true. Women frequently abuse their
husbands also. It is characteristically for different reasons and motives, and is typically not the same type of abuse because
men are usually physically stronger than the females, but “men are more deeply affected by emotional abuse than physical
abuse” (About).
Though the type of abuse is not the same it is not any less painful: “men are more deeply affected by emotional
abuse than physical abuse” (About). “What hurts a man mentally and emotionally can be very different from what
hurts a woman,” a report suggests (About). The women often chooses to embarrass the man in front of others because “humiliating
a man emotionally in front of other men can be more devastating than physical abuse” (About). This leads to the man
feeling they had “failed to achieve culturally defined masculine characteristics, such as independence, strength, toughness,
and self-reliance. As a result, the man feels emasculated and marginalized” (Intimate).
But it is not always emotional and mental abuse. There are cases of physical abuse by females against their husbands.
“Roughly 300,000 to 400,000 men are treated violently by their wife or girlfriend,” and about “800,000 men
are raped or physically assaulted by an intimate partner,” studies suggest (About, CDC). Some of these cases are severe
enough that they require medical attention: “13% of male victims of partner abuse reported physical injury and 3% required
medical attention” (Intimate).
So why do we not hear of this more often? Very little is actually known about the actual numbers of domestic abuse cases
involving men being abused by women. It is hard to get reliable estimates of this information to give to the public. The numbers
are so small because many males fail to report the abuse. Many believe that no one will believe them, which is sadly true
in some cases (About). Society has put out such a belief that domestic abuse only happens to females that nothing has been
done to encourage men. This idea is “so unthinkable that many men will not even attempt to report the situation”
(About). But the issue is real. Something needs to be done to encourage these men to speak up. The public needs to realize
that it happens to people of both sexes, all ages, and no matter who you are or what type of abuse you suffer you have a right
to get out.
Poverty
Poverty is related to domestic violence in two ways. Many people are stuck in abusive relationships because they lack
the financial support needed to get out. Unfortunately, the other side of this is that many people do escape abusive relationships
and because of their lack of financial support they end up in poverty. The lack of financial resources and affordable housing
can trap women in abusive relationships because they believe that though they are abused, they are at least financially stable.
Domestic violence and welfare also seem to be linked. Studies consistently show that fifty to sixty percent of women
receiving welfare have experienced physical abuse by an intimate partner at some point during their adult lives, compare to
twenty-two percent of the general population” (The Facts on Welfare). As many as “thirty percent of women on welfare
report abuse in a current relationship” (The Facts on Welfare). This may be contributed to by the stress of financial
worries, yet there is still no excuse. But welfare can also be used as an escape from an abusive relationship (The Facts on
Welfare).
Those not fortunate enough to receive welfare but still strong enough to escape an abusive relationship are often left
to fend for themselves. Domestic violence is a major cause of homelessness in this country, with 44 percent of cities surveyed
identifying domestic violence as the primary cause of homelessness” (The Facts on Housing). Studies show especially
the relationship between women in abusive relationships and poverty. Studies explain that” ninety-two percent of homeless
women have experienced sever physical and/or sexual assault at some point in their lives” and “twenty-two percent
of individuals surveyed stated that they had fled their home because of domestic violence” (The Facts on Housing).
Though many people are brave enough to leave an abusive relationship because they realize it is wrong, they find themselves
with no where to go. They are at a dead end either way they turn and because of this they lose hope. These victims must be
given another option so that they can help save themselves.
Economy
Domestic violence affects not only individuals, but the economy as a whole. The victims often cannot help themselves
and run away with no place to go. The government steps in and helps them find a way out, costing the country billions of dollars
each year. In my opinion, this is money well spent and if I were in the situation I would be grateful for the help I received.
None the less, the costs are high, both indirect and direct. Direct costs such as judicial, law enforcement, and health
system responses for child maltreatment alone are estimated at $24 billion each year and the indirect costs such as long-term
economic consequences exceed an estimated $69 billion annually (CDC). In cases of intimate partner violence “costs exceed
$8.3 billion, which includes $460 million for rape, $6.2 billion for physical assault, $461 million for stalking, and $1.2
billion in the value of lost lives” (CDC).
Besides the financial strain it puts on the economy for these expenses, it also impacts the job force. Many people in
abusive relationships are not allowed to have jobs so that they cannot better themselves. If they do get a job they often
soon quit as questions may arise about their home life or because their home life is causing problems for them and affecting
their productivity. Others are often fired because their abuser causes problems for them at work: “about 50 percent
of battered women who are employed are harassed at work by their abusive partners” (The Facts on Welfare).
While the cost of domestic violence is the least of my concerns on this issue, I believe that it does have a substantial
impact on our economy. It is a disgrace that so much money has to be spent because people treat each other this way.
Why People Stay
People stay in abusive relationship for a variety of reasons. Sometimes it is their own choice and sometimes they have
no way out. Many victims blame themselves and have no willpower to get out because they believe they deserve the abuse. Other
times they know it is not right but are frightened for their lives and fear what will happen if they try to leave. Some fear
that they will shame themselves and their families if others find out. Whatever the reason for staying, it is not right. These
victims must learn that they deserve better and that they must stand up for themselves.
The Family Domestic Violence Services explains that people stay in abusive relationships for reason such as:
- They hope the relationship will get better
- They don’t want to break up the family
- Their partner’s abuse isolated them from friends and family
- They are afraid their family and community will blame them for the abuse or encourage them to stay
- They feel ashamed and blame themselves for the abuse
- They fear for their own safety and their children’s safety
- They depend upon their partners income
- They have lost self-esteem because of their partners abuse
- They have nowhere else to go
- Their partner has threatened to harm them if they leave (Family)
“Eighty-two percent of Americans say that they would do something to help reduce domestic violence if they knew what
to do” (General). So what can you do?
